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- What was my upbringing focused on? think self-control, conformity….
- What behavioral norms were expected from me? think “boys don’t cry…”
- What influence does a dominant family member have on me to this day? think “Evidence trip” towards him or her….
- Which family sayings have I internalized… or still influence me today
- Do I pass them on? think “You’ll eat whats’s being served” or “Business before pleasure”
- Which behavior has ensured my “survival”? Think seeking attention & recognition of other people, withdrawal, dominance, role-playing…
- Do I experience the compulsion to repeat specific behavior? Which one? Ideally, describe it as precisely as possible.
- My 5 greatest weaknesses are…
- My 5 greatest strengths are…
- What basic fears and safety needs am I conscious of….
- clearly?
- rather irrationally?
- Which prohibitions do I violate from time to time?
- …and what desire, what need is behind it?
- Which feelings do I rarely – or never – express?
- Which roles do I play that do not (or rarely) correspond to my identity?
- think the cool one,
- the successful one,
- the rational superior,
- the omniscient one…
- What negative programs do I have about myself? (Or in other words: “I don’t like myself because…” )
- Which advantages does this program have?
- Which disadvantages, especially in the long run?
- Which conflicts do I find myself in over and over again?
- Which “outlet” do I use to release or escape external and internal pressure?
- Which symptoms of illness appear again and again?
- My favorite “bad stories” abot myself are: {think: I feel stressed because…)
- What is the advantage of such a story
- What did you really want to accomplish with it?
- Did it work?
- What are my worst “time-wasters”?
- What qualities in others always bother me?
- What qualities do I admire in others that I do not possess myself?
- With whom do I have unsettled relationships?
- Which “games” do I play again and again to impress others?
- Where are the strongest deviations from my self-image / from the assumed image of others?
- I find the following points negative in my communication style:
- Manipulative
- Insistent
- Pressing
- Talking too much
- Sarcasm/Irony
- “loaded” questions
- interrupting
- talking down
- Disinterest
- General statements
- Saying what needs to be done
- etc..
- In my relationships
- I accept others as they are
- I openly communicate my needs
- I give what I expect the most
- One last question: Which characteristics or behavior patterns have I tried to avoid, conceal, downplay in the last 25 questions?